I've always had moody tendencies, but wow, hormones are hittin' me hard. I'm finding myself hard to wake and slow to start in the morning, it feels difficult to encourage myself to get out and do my morning walk (but i do!), I don't have the energy to dry my hair after I shower, I don't even want to wear a bra because it feels too uncomfortable and heavy, just like to wear tank tops with built in bras. I then feel queasy shortly after showering which makes me want to either eat or sleep. I feel emotional at times, sometimes really irritated, and sometimes scared, nervous, or weepy. It's very weird. I've always hated feeling not in control of my emotions, but I really don't right now. Which is perfect for house-hunting and job interviewing- which we're both having a hard time figuring out (we have different tastes for houses, and both rather unsure on what kinds of jobs I should be working if at all).
A lot of questions in the air and things to get done- doesn't help the hormones. But I'm just trying to remind myself that it is normal to feel this way, especially in the first trimester. I just want us to be the best of parents, and to offer our kids the best the world has to offer. Sometimes you question your ability to do so, and all you can do to assure yourself, is tell yourself that you'll never stop wholeheartedly trying. I think I am mostly scared of facing the birthing process: what it will feel like, what if I can't face it, is it going to permanently damage me, what if we can't get to the hospital in time or what if things go wrong?! My nerves will sky rocket which would only make matters worse, I imagine! My (or our I should day) strength will truly be tested.
On a lighter note, that first ultrasound I've been counting-down to, is finally tomorrow at 8am. Dennis will be with me thank god. We'll confirm a uterine pregnancy (hopefully), how many lil babies are in there, and see/hear the heartbeat. Praying for a positive and healthy outcome. Baby is the size of a blueberry today, so that's how big he/she will be when we see tomorrow!
The picture below will be our announcement photo, using the Baby Lamb hat that arrived this past Monday :)
<3
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